I’m posting this a day later than usual only because I was really overwhelmed this weekend with….work…and emotions (??), but here’s the update for last week! There were a ton of ups and down during the week, and, so far, week 4 of this semester was probably my worst one yet. I was pretty stressed out for two days, but it wasn’t as bad as the stress levels I had last semester. The main reason I was so stressed was because I realized that I have absolutely no idea what’s going on in one of my classes. I haven’t had a lot of classes in the past where I’ve been absolutely lost and confused, so this was a foreign experience for me and I didn’t enjoy it. What mades this worse was the fact that there were other people in class who seem to really enjoy it and always talk about how great the professor is. Even though I felt like I was the only person who had no idea what was happening, I ended up talking to some of my friends in the class and realized that a good chunk of us are all pretty confused. Glad we’re all struggling together!
Another reason why I was stressed this week was because I had an exam today that I was trying to prep for but I had a really hard time focusing on studying. I don’t know why it was so difficult to motivate myself to get work done, but I think I just…didn’t see the point? The class isn’t an easy one, but the material seemed fairly straightforward. I think I was also feeling pretty burnt out and was just too exhausted to study.
Despite being such a stressful week, I also had some pretty enjoyable experiences. For one, I went out for dinner with some friends on Tuesday to catch up for the first time since winter break. All of us haven’t had the chance to sit down and talk since we don’t have a lot of classes together, so it was a fun night! On Friday night, I went to a ~*barcade*~ (aka an arcade bar) with two of my friends and it was a m a z i n g. I almost forgot how much I love arcades but WOW was this a great experience. Also, the place sold tater tots…in the shape of tetris pieces?? This is only thing that’s going to keep me going in this godforsaken city, I swear. I definitely want to go again, potentially after midterms/right before break to ~*de-stress*~ but mostly because I really want more of those tater tots.
Anywho, goal update!:
- Apply to internships and secure a position by the end of the semester. Ridiculously behind schedule, but it’s okay! I have 2 applications due this week and I’m practically done with one of them but haven’t started the second. So I’ll probably be working in a panicked frenzy this week, but that’s fine!!
- Maintain a regular sleep schedule. I was somewhat successful at this, except I got about 5 hours of sleep two nights. In my defense, I stayed up to call one of my friends from home who was at work late, and I figured I should pick my friend over sleep at least once. I got home late the other night and had a lot to get done sooo there’s that on that.
- Identify areas of weakness and determine ways to improve. I talked about how I’m a bad listener last week and I think I’ve been slowly improving at that! It’s obviously a work in progress though, so I’ll continue working on that for the next few weeks too. For this week, I think my major area of weakness is worrying too much about how I’m doing in my classes. In the past, my concern was about grades and passing classes, but now it’s more about whether I’m understanding and learning everything that the professors tell me. One of my big fears is that I’m not going to retain everything that I’m learning from these classes when I’m out in the workforce and that makes me feel like all of this might be a waste of time. I’m trying to convince myself that that’s definitely not the case, but it’s really difficult to do!